I'm Not Sorry

After I became disabled from Fluoroquinolone Toxicity in 2006, I found myself apologizing a lot. I apologized every time I felt crappy and couldn't follow through with commitments or keep plans I made with friends and family. I apologized for collapsing into tears when I was frustrated or hurting. I apologized for basically being me.

When I reflect on the last 8 years since this happened, I realize now that I'm not sorry for any of that.

I'm not sorry when I have to cancel when I have a flareup.

I'm not sorry that it's uncomfortable for you to be around me because I'm not the same anymore.

I'm not sorry that I speak out.

I'm not sorry when I have a bad day, because it's not my fault.

I'm not sorry that I have to lay on the couch when I am in pain.

I'm not sorry that you label me as a drug addict when I need pain medication.

I'm not sorry that you won't educate yourself about what is happening to me.

I'm not sorry that I don't look sick.

I'm not sorry that I lost you as a friend because you grew impatient.

I'm not sorry that I don't stay in touch when I am not feeling well.

I'm not sorry that I embarrass you when I educate people who cross my path.

I'm not sorry that I put my physical and emotional health first.

I'm not sorry that I forgot what you said 5 minutes ago.

I'm not sorry that I distanced myself from people and things that stress me out.

I'm not sorry when I can't snap out of it when I have a bad day.

I'm not sorry that I don't make excuses anymore.

I'm not sorry that I'm not independent anymore.

I'm not sorry that I gained weight.

I'm not sorry that I'm tired all the time.

I'm not sorry that I choose to defy the odds.

I'm not sorry that I take the high road.

I'm not sorry that I decide what is best for my health.

I'm not sorry when I am honest about how I am feeling.

I'm not sorry that I stood up and decided that I'm not taking this lying down.

I'm not sorry that I tell a doctor to piss up a rope when they don't believe me.

I'm not sorry that I am proud of my story and how far I have come.

I'm not sorry that I choose to stay positive.

I'm not sorry that I don't let this define me.

I'm not sorry when I ask for help.

I'm not sorry that it's hard for you to see me like this.

I'm not sorry that my scars tell a story of my journey.

I'm not sorry for being me.

I'm not sorry that I am surviving the only way I know how.

I'm not sorry for thriving.

I'm not sorry for what I've been through.

I'm not sorry for being strong.

I'm not sorry living one day at a time, sometimes even minute by minute.

I'm not sorry that I'm not the same anymore.

I'm not sorry that I have a voice.

I'm not sorry that I took my dignity back.

I'm not sorry that I put my needs first.

I'm not sorry for accepting the position of President/Executive Director of Quinolone Vigilance Foundation when I had no idea what I was doing because now I do, and I'm damn good at it.

I'm. Not. Sorry.